Tuesday, September 24, 2013

That One Time We Got Lost in the Palatinate Forest

Like I mentioned in the last post, this week is dedicated to exploring our own town. So we decided to go hiking! Kaiserslautern is basically in a forest.

I don’t know if the above picture means anything to you. The A is our town, the gray spots around it are the city, and the green that overwhelms the rest of the picture is the goddamn forest.

We drove to Bremerhof Hotel to have lunch at the Biergarten. The Bremerhof Hotel is literally IN the forest and is surrounded by hiking and biking trails. It was a sunny day, so we found some seats outside and ordered a beer and lunch.

I too questioned if half a liter of beer was an appropriate choice before a 5-mile hike, but Dan reassured me, “Babe… this is Germany.” Despite that statement being completely irrelevant, it justified the beer enough for me.

I ordered the Kurbissuppe (pumpkin soup). It’s fall time in Germany and they love their pumpkins! This was the most amazing soup I’ve had. It was creamy and flavorful without being overpowering. I can’t wait to eat it all autumn long and perhaps even try to make it!

After our unsurprisingly heavy meal, we headed into the forest. We chose the 7km route (4.3 miles).

Our Route was the YELLOW one. 
It took us past the Humbergturm, and through the rest of the forest. The Humbergturm is a 119-foot high observation tower that offers some pretty great views of the city, high above the trees.

The Humbergtrum
Selfie atop the Tower.

My two favorite photos from the day: 

From there, we chose a random path and starting walking. And walking and talking and walking. Now, I realize that 5 miles isn’t a “quick jaunt” but we were walking for A WHILE- until we slightly considered turning around, but then just started talking again, taking turns peeing in the woods, and joking about getting lost.

Walking and walking and talking and walking and talking.
Foreshadowing, you silly bitch. We eventually came to a rather well paved road, which we realized probably wasn’t part of the hiking trail, but we’d been walking for 2.5 hours, so I’m sure we’re close to getting back. Right?

Then we came to a main traffic road. Dan pulled up his GPS and we realized we.were.lost. And the hotel where our car was parked was.very.far.

“Maybe one of these passing cars will feel sorry for us and take us back?” I offered.

That car did not feel sorry for us.
The sun was setting and it was getting colder. As we forged back into the woods to try and find the correct path, I wondered how we could make a fire tonight. I wondered if we would build shelter or just find a nice clearing. I felt slightly bad, because Dan would get cold tonight since he would chivalrously give me his jacket. I should have brought snacks. I wonder if those berries are edible. I hope there aren’t bears out here. Do you think anyone could hear our screams?

Dan had to eventually pull out his cell phone flashlight since the sun had actually set now. We did eventually make it back without having to sleep in the forest, but that’s what happens, friends, when you go hiking too late in the day and don’t follow an actual trail and talk instead of look at route markers and don’t trust your navigational instincts.

4.5 hours and only the sweet heavens know how many miles later, we headed home.  

*   *   *

We showered and changed and since we hadn’t had enough walking for the day, walked to the bowling alley on the other side of town. The Broncos game was on at 2:40am Germany time, and we needed a distraction in order to stay awake for it. We bowled until 1am and once we got home made cookies, coffee and beenie weenies to complete the middle of night football watching trifecta.
We're ready! 
I fell asleep shortly into the 3rd quarter, but knew Peyton (swoon) wouldn’t let me down. AND HE EFFING DIDN'T.


  1. Love this one. "Foreshadowing, you silly bitch." Classic. ;)

    1. Thanks! It was quite the adventure, especially as I watched the sun completely disappear. Yikes! Hope you're well!

  2. "the top ten things you always take hiking..." kept rolling through my head... Glad it all turned out well!

    1. Haha seriously. I thought it was going to be a leisurely hike, not one involving supplies...


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...